Thats me at 3 - digging my nose. I had a predilection for stuffing things up my nose - toy bullets, paper, coins 😂
I assure you that’s not the case anymore. But I digress.
That’s my dad. Probably the best dad a girl could have but I did not realise that until I lost him at the age of 20 and my whole life turned upside down and inside out and I plunged madly into a whirlpool that I only just have started to swim out and stay afloat of.
Dad was an introvert, unlike me. He read a lot, was a homebody who lived for his family and doted on mom, his children, his garden , his dog and car - not necessarily in that order too. I strongly suspect he loved his dog most.
I get my courage of conviction from him.
He taught me God is real, people are fake. So he was anti religion, but had strong faith in God.
“Why do we need a middleman?” he asked. I have yet to be able to find an answer and I doubt there is one.
He was ‘just a clerk’, but he read politics and business and science fiction and anything he could get his hands on. He wrote his strong opinions and thoughts in the books he read, which I treasure today.
Everyone used to laugh at him - for his meticulous file keeping on every single thing including the dog. For his going against the church on things that didnt make sense. For not being bothered to be normal, to quietly revolt and go against the grain when common sense needed to prevail.
He had many fears and it would affect him physically. But he was the bravest man I know for he kept going back to a job he detested every single day of his life to pay the bills and put food on the table. That is sheer courage, determination and persistence.
He was not a rich man and ppl laughed at his meagre simple clothes - he refused to spend on himself. But he was the richest man I know because he provided everything the 5 of us needed with his meagre salary.
Though they laughed, he remained true to his authentic self. And that - though I was taller than him by the age of 18 - made him a giant amongst men for me. He was also very politically incorrect - many liberals would have committed seppuku over the things he said.
Though i was a difficult rebellious child, he loved me unconditionally. His last words and thoughts as he lay dying was concern for me, his youngest child - “who will take care of my daughter?”
In the end, I took care of his daughter. No one else did a close or good enough job.
For I am my father’s daughter and to paraphrase Isaac Newton, if I see further and clearer than most today, it’s because I stand on the shoulder of a giant.
