To be frank, i never really understood what love was supposed to be or mean. I think i have mentioned before in a post - it isnt a word that can be understood on its own. It's an amalgamation of many words that have singular emotions and reactions attached to them : desire/lust, need, admiration, expectations, respect, adulation, comfort, care & concern, familiarity, nostalgia.... all rolled into a blurry overview of one word - LOVE.
And for every relationship, there will be various permutations of how much each factor weighs in as opposed to the others.
So, if Daisy tells Donny she loves him, for her it could be because she finds him terribly attractive.
Ramesh could tell Lalitha he loves her because she cooks, cleans and folds his clothes and he is dependant on her.
And it goes on, love is different for others, never quite one size fits all. It comes in many shades - and some of those shades can be very dark, indeed.
And perhaps that is why love doesnt last.
Yr amalgamation of needs, desires, expectations...etc changes over the years, as you change over the years and as yr loved one changes. For no one is a constant. Yet that amalgam you started out with has been carved in stone. You, however, aren't.
So you settle. You hide your disappointment and you settle. The only reason being is nostalgia for history that has been forged, and the current consequences of that history and still, a fondness for the person you have shared a significant part of yr life with.
And that, folks, is love.
Then why do we keep doing it ?
Because it's nice to belong to someone. And have someone belong to you.
Its comforting to know that someone has your back, no matter what.
Its assuring to know someone thinks you are the absolute best even on days you look into the mirror and see an absolute loser.
Its wonderful to come home to loving arms that hug away yr troubles at work or your annoyance at the world.
Its fun to have a partner-in-crime to plot despicable misadventures together.
Its beautiful to have someone to tell all yr stupid stories to.
Its lovely to plan a future together, and the future then does not seem so bleak or terrifying.
It great to have consistency from another human being .
And so though all of the above may not last, to have them for a few fleeting moons in yr life, is actually living life bravely.
And the hardest part of it all ? Finding such a soul-mate that fits you like a glove. Maybe there never will be that perfect person. Or you might meet them, in a wrong place at the wrong time. Or you might find them and lose them. Or you might find them and it lasts forever.
All our life is a journey anyway, folks. Our education, our politics, our career, our friends, our challenges.... as such, love is a journey too.
And it starts with loving yourself. The greatest love of all.
